Random Thoughts

This is the first time that I didn't have a title before starting to write, which means that this blog post is probably going to become random at some points, because my thoughts are all over the place. I probably should be resting since I just got out of the hospital today. I spent a day and a half stuck in a cold room, with fluids being pumped throughout my body. I don't have anyone to blame for that other than myself, because if I'm being truthful...I haven't been taking care of myself lately. I'm not eating, I'm working out like crazy and I'm super focused on work, another thing is sometimes I get so tired of worrying about myself. I can't afford to do that, but sometimes things just get out of hand and I want a break from having to worry about what i'm eating...when I'm eating and how much i'm eating. So for me...it's easier to just forget about eating, but when that happens I end up with low blood sugar and....in the hospital. 

I'm so out of it lately, like...I don't care about anything....

Neurotic Insecurity

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. -Robert A. Heinlein

Best Thing I Never Had...

...and I will always be the best thing you never had....

Thinking of You

My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction. 

I'm Back....

Back from my Japan trip...it was amazing. I'll go into more detail later. The written portion of the trip will be posted here, pictures and video will be on my wordpress blog because....well... wordpress has better privacy functions. Let me know if you want the link, I think everyone I regularly talk to has it. I could be wrong though. lol....anyway, this was like a wasted post, but i wanted to write somethingggg. Having really bad jet lag, so I'm going to sit down with my tea and work on my emo blog post about everything that happened during my trip. Look forward to it! :)


Sierra~

First Sight

No Words Needed...

Just listen, and feel....

It's what happens when amazing voices are blended together....

Happiness...Is on the way...

Feeling good compared to most days which is good. :) I had a little medical scare yesterday and had to rush to the doctor because my blood pressure was really high and I was having a diabetic crisis. Turns out that the blood pressure thing was just stress, and I was able to take a few hours to calm down and kind of get back on track. I need to be careful with my stress level, because it won't be long before I leave for Japan for 2 weeks, and I can't wait. On a daily basis I imagine myself exiting the terminal at the airport and being welcomed by Yuta, my second set of parents, miya, emi and kat. I miss them terribly and I wish I could fast forward time and be there now. If I could drop everything right now, I would go and live there. I already feel like my whole entire life is in Japan and the only thing missing is me. Why am I so scared to make the big step and commit to living there? My parents and brother's are a huge reason why I'm unsure. As far as my friends here, there are only a few here that I worry about. It's sad to say, but the rest are adding to my stress these days and I don't think that I'd miss that part of our friendship. I don't think I've ever needed a vacation as badly as I need one right now. I don't think I've ever needed Yuta as much as I need him right now. I don't think i've ever needed the wisdom of his mother as much as I need it right now. 
Everything that I need and want is there and I'm falling way behind. Hurry up April 22nd, I can't wait to just feel strong arms and warmth, letting me know that at least for 2 weeks I'm okay, I'm loved and I'm protected. I crave it daily and it's a source of happiness that I need. It's going to feel good letting someone take care of me for a change. It doesn't happen often enough. :) 

Until next time~
Sierra

Somewhere Only We Know...

Our secret hiding place, Our place of shelter, the place that we've laughed. The place we had our first big argument. The place where we shared our hopes and dreams. The place we cried after every failure and setback, celebrated every goal reached. Birthday's, Valentine's Day's, Christmas', Graduation's. Our place that holds all of our bad memories, but holds many more of our extraordinary memories. There is only one place like that, and it's the one place you know you can always find me.....

"I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. i felt the Earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete. Is the place, we used to love, is this the place that I've been dreaming of? And if you have a minute why don't we go, talk about it somewhere only we know. This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go...somewhere only we know?"

Lightless

something I've been feeling lately...yeah.

Goodnight~

Fall with me...

Love All Over Me...

In love with this song....

"you put the color back in my life...and now where there was black and white, your love made me iridescent, I got love all over me....and i don't want to get it off, I'm completely covered up in your love..."

Crush...

A cute little something that was in my inbox this morning....

I couldn't find an answer for you, so you'll just have to wait. lol

Happy...

I haven't made a post in a few days, so I thought that I should drop a few words here. I've been so happy these last few days. I've been reconnecting with my friends, going out more and having a life. I brought up the subject to my parents about moving, they seem sad but happy about it. I haven't made a decision yet, but the more I think about it...the happier I get. Have you ever had the feeling that your life is supposed to be so much more? I'm having that feeling lately. I also have the feeling that wherever I move, i'm going to be successful. I've just been feeling good! 

I had a skype date with Yuta's mom for our weekly Jersey Shore date. I'm so surprised she likes that show, but she loves it. We even got Yuta to watch it. He made smart ass, jerk-like comments about it, but he was a good sport about it. That's a great quality in a person. Someone who will spend  time with you even when it's something that they might not enjoy. Well, I'll leave it here. I just wanted to make a random post. lol

Until next time~

Sierra

Padam Padam...

I've been watching this drama called, Padam Padam...the Sound of His and Her Heartbeats. It's about 18 episodes in and I remember when I first started it, I was unsure about how I felt about it, but as the weeks went on, it's grown on me so much. I watch a lot of drama's, but this one is different. There is a love story but it also surrounded with mystical intrigue. I love the idea of how this drama involves an "angel" who at times finds himself being unable to help, no matter how much he wants too. I think that there are a lot of life lesson's that can be learned from this drama, which is why I love it so much. It speaks to the fighter in all of us, and gives us reasons on why we should never give up hope...even when the worse thing possible happens to you. 

Although the last couple of episodes have made me angry, I guess I can understand where the main character is coming from. Do you love and be selfish...or do you let go and be selfless? Is loving selfish when you know you are coming up on your last days on earth? I don't think so. I think that everyone needs love no matter how long they are able to receive it. Maybe in the last few episodes I'll learn something new. If you are into watching drama's this is one that I would definitely recommend. 

Well, that's the end of this useless post. I don't know, I guess I just had the urge to write about it after just finishing up episode 18. This isn't a review on the drama or anything. I just wanted to write down how I felt about it. 

Until next time...enjoy the music...

Sierra~

Are You..Looking New?

Woot! New look for the blog, well, not entirely new! ^^ Same content, same background, but the layout has been re-done, the font changed and the color changed. I didn't think that the purple matched the mood of the blog, so I settled on a color and font that I think is easier to read. What do you think? ^^ Anyway, that's all for now. I'm going to do some work on my fashion blog. Check it out when you get a chance. ^^


P.S. There might be a title change for this blog in the near future. Look forward to it. ^^




Bye!
~Sierra