........

This post is just for me to let my feelings out and it's more about letting you into the darkest parts of my mind and the day to day struggle that I fight through every day. About 4 years ago I was in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship and when that ended I expected my life to return back to normal. I was expecting to be the carefree, fearless and confident girl I once was...I was mistaken. I was able to put on a happy face for about a year even though I felt miserable. My mom noticed that something was wrong with me so she took me to a psychologist where I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was so confused at first, because I pretended everything was okay for so long that I started convincing myself I was fine, but I couldn't deny the fact that this girl who was once fearless, now was scared to look people in the eye, crowds scared me, I even started seeing my friends differently and that was scary. After being put on medicine things started looking a little better, but I've learned that depression isn't something that can be cured, it's a battle I'm going to fight for the rest of my life and the worst thing you can assume about someone with depression is that they can just "get over it", if only it were that simple, we'd do it. No one would choose to lead a life of sadness willingly. I decided to write this today, because today is one of my bad days, one of the days where I find myself wondering why I was chosen to lead this life and if it will ever really be worth it. A lot of people only see what I choose to show them and the important message here is that some of the people who look the happiest are the saddest people you'll ever meet. Be kind to one another and never take your happiness for granted....

Bath Time Fun With Lush!!!

I went shopping at Somerset Mall today, and although I literally go here all the time and it's 2 blocks east of my job, I have never gone into Lush. I wasn't sure what kind of store it was, so i just passed it by. Well, my cousin decided that it was something that I had to experience so I went in and my world was rocked. I'm normally a shower girl, and when I do take baths it's more of Epsom salt, lavender and baby oil. I left out of this store and spent over $50 on bath bombs, bubble bars and bath melts. Here's what I got:

Bath Bombs:

This one smells of jasmine, sage and it has a very romantic scent to it as well as relaxing undertones. I can't wait to try it!

Sex Bomb

This one smells like pure candy so I couldn't pass this up! It has a citrus sherbet-y kind of smell. It smells delicious! Who doesn't like the smell of candy? Who doesn't want to smell like candy? If you don't...you're weird!

Dragon's Egg

Sakura, sakura, sakura! How could I not get this?!? It reminds me so much of my times in Japan during the sakura bloom, and it smells delightful. It's floral, but it's not the kind that will make you sneeze!

Sakura

I think that's all of the bath bombs that I actually got, although I really wanted to buy the Avobath that smelled of sweet lemongrass, and Butterball which smelled of cocoa butter and I think it will do amazing things for my incredibly dry skin! 

Bubble Bars:

So a little bit of info about these...bubble bars come in different scents and you can pair them up with your bath bombs or you can just use them alone if you only want the bubbles. The great thing about these is depending on the bath bomb you mix it with you'll get a different smell. I still have to discover all of the different scents, but I do know that there is a combo of 3 that smells like fruity pebbles and it's amazing! There is also one that smells like Christmas, I mean how great is that?!? haha! Okay, let's get to it! 

I got this one because it smelled like I was being comforted by blackcurrant candy! If you haven't guessed by now, I love smelling sweet! 

The Comforter

Ahhhh, the scent of orange flower! This one smells really good paired with the Sakura bath bomb. Floral yet fruity! Yum!

Pop In The Bath Bubble Bar

Nothing to really say about this, because well...you get it by now...Candy candy candy!

Creamy Candy Bubble Bar

Bath Melts:

The purpose of these are to moisturize your skin with essential oils.

This one is one of the 3 that it takes to make your bath smell like Christmas! I didn't get the other two parts, because someone told me about it after I left and I was determined not to spend anymore money.....for now!

Ceridwen's Cauldron Bath Melts

Last but certainly not least. It's shaped like a cupcake, and it's made of real marshmallow herb! You already know!!!

MMM Melting Marshmallow Moment Bath Melt

There is so much more I could say about this company and there are so many more products that I want to try. They have an amazing body conditioner and cleanser that I will be buying and reviewing in the near future. The best thing about this company is that everything is chemical free, organic and handmade which makes it some of the safest products that you could ever use on your skin. They participate in charities as well, as today I was able to purchase a "charity pot" of cocoa butter cream for $5.95 and all proceeds went to shark conservation. Overall, I was more than pleased with my visit and I'll for sure be back in the near future. If you're interested in finding out more about them or you want to order anything online, be sure to visit http://www.lushusa.com/

Until next time~

Mixology Edition

I've been doing a lot more online shopping lately and I ran across Mixology and so far I've been loving their stuff. I'm going to let you in on my shopping bag! Enjoy!

I'm still as in love with rompers this summer as I was last summer. They are light, flirty and fun. Hopefully I'll get a chance to wear this before summer is over!

Gab & Kate Blake Romper

BB Dakota time! Yes!!! I love their shirts the most and they are on the expensive side, but I couldn't pass this up. I love plaid (my boyfriend hates it, but oh well), and I love how loose fitting and comfortable this looks. I can already see me sitting by the water at metro beach and catching a breeze!

BB Dakota Becket Plaid Blouse

It's way too hot to wear a sweatshirt, but I thought this was something fun for fall. All hail Queen Bey!

Brooklyn Karma Don't Worry Be Yonce Sweatshirt

And lastly, because this describes me so well......

Good hYOUman Not Crazy Just Human Tee

I spent a little too much money, but like another tee said that I was going to get "You only live once, but if you do it right...once is all you need!" I forgot how fun it was to do these kind of blog posts. I have a shopping trip planned for tomorrow, so I'll be uploading the things I pick up at the mall. I hope you enjoyed this little peek inside my shopping bag, and if you want to see what other brands and things that Mixology has to offer, be sure to check them out ~HERE~

Until next time!

Growing...

I'm back! Things have been insane for me lately, but it's been a good kind of insane. I've grown a lot over the last few months and a lot of that is thanks to my parents. I realized that although I am an adult, I still have some childish ways, but I don't think that is such a bad thing. Of course you can't be childish about everything, but I never want to lose the side of me that enjoys being silly and having fun.  I've matured in my relationships with my friends, my parents and my boyfriend. I've learned how to say the things that were so hard for me to say before. If I'm feeling jealous, I'll rationally explain the reasons to Yuta. If I'm feeling left out from my brothers, I calmly explain it to my parents. If I'm feeling like I'm making all the effort when it comes to my friends, I let them know that. Being more open and honest about my feelings with everyone in my life seems to be working out well for me. There are not nearly as many misunderstandings and attitudes...of course there are times where I don't always find the nicest words to express how I'm feeling, but this is all pretty much new to me, so give me a break! ha ha!

On the work front, things have been extremely stressful, but you do what you have to do to pay the bills and you try not to punch people in the face, because that would be frowned upon by management. I guess I still have a lot to learn when it comes to patience! The next thing I'll be tackling while I'm on vacation for the next 8 days is reconnecting with the people that matter most in my life and getting out and having fun. I already set up a shopping and lunch date for tomorrow that I'm pretty excited about. It's time for me to live a little. I also plan to blog a little bit more, I can't promise that it'll be a lot, but I'll try. I need to connect more with my online friends as well, I feel like I haven't talked to some of them in forever and I miss you guys(you know who you are!)...life....it's hard sometimes.

Well, I guess that's all for now, I'll be back a few times this week...hopefully! :)

Lions, Tigers and Bears.....

It's been a long time since I've posted anything and I'll explain all of that later, but I wanted to post this really quick, because I was organizing my iTunes library and this song started playing and it stirred up memories and feelings from long ago....

This literally explains the conflicting emotions I had in the beginning and then coming to realize that nothing ventured....nothing gained.

I'll be back later......