Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Just When I Thought...
I thought that I solved the issues between CJ, Yuta and my dad. I thought I had extinguished that fire....man, was I wrong.
Things got better on Saturday when I decided to force some "male-bonding time" on them by making CJ and Yuta go golfing with my dad. CJ was sweet about it and was a good sport even though he really doesn't have an interest in golf. My dad acted like an adult and started to teach CJ the in's and out's of golf....I thought everything was good....I was wrong.
Saturday night we were all over my parent's house and we were having dinner and things were pretty quiet which is unusual, because usually it's very lively around the dinner table. My mom was being lukewarm towards CJ, like she was tolerating him, but she wasn't happy about it. My mom is usually such a sweetheart, but when she gets those "mom-knows-best-and-he's-not-right-for-you" feelings there is really nothing you can do, but hope that she'll eventually warm up to the idea....sigh.... I don't even know where to start with her, and I can imagine that it's only going to get worse when Yuta's mom arrives on Thursday. Get those two together and on the same team and there is bound to be trouble. Well, anyway...My mom was being extra sweet towards Yuta and using her limited Japanese she asked him what he thought about CJ. I thought that this was extremely rude, because you don't use a language at the dinner table that not everyone can understand (I swear sometimes, I feel like the only adult in my family). Anywho, from what I heard from Yuta's response it was not really nice. All I was able to catch was "wakawakashii", and "ketsunoana". Which are pretty bad insults. It's rude, but I couldn't really correct Yuta, because CJ has also said some pretty mean things about Yuta...As I said, I thought everything was fine....wrong, I was.
Sunday was a turning point, I had really had enough of them bickering, arguing and throwing insults around so I blew up...I mean, total level 10 bitch fit. I told them both to leave my house and not to come back until they felt like they could be mature adults and stop playing the "I'm more important than you" game. They were shocked and stunned when they left, but I thought I had gotten my point across (I need to stop thinking obviously). Yuta came back and apologized, CJ called and apologized, but said that it'd probably be better if he didn't come back over that night. I wasn't going to argue so I just left it alone. Crisis adverted...right???....WRONG!
Today, it's a beautiful Monday. The weather is nice, the sun is shining, all the elements that make a day perfect. I did some running around this morning and came home to take a quiet nap and just relax. Plan was a success until my parents called and said that they had gotten off of work early and wanted to know if I wanted to bring Yuta and CJ for lunch at New Seoul Garden. I really didn't want to go, because I ate a lot of junk food this weekend and really messed up my diet, but the sushi was calling for me so I bit the bullet and decided that this one meal wouldn't hurt (bad decision).....
We arrived at the restaurant and everything seemed okay, everyone was making polite conversation while we waited to be seated. The waitress comes and I immediately want to run out of the restaurant and not look back. Here's a little back story on this waitress...every time I come to NSG with Yuta she has always assumed that we were a couple. I don't play along with her, but Yuta sometimes does. So, now every time I've been in there she asks me when my "boyfriend" is coming back to the States. Can you see why I wanted to run? So now in a room, you have...me, my mom, my dad, yuta, cj (if you haven't guessed by now, we're dating) and a delusional waitress who thinks that Yuta is my boyfriend...there was no way that this was going to turn out good...at all.
As soon as we sat down, she parts her lips and says: "oh, so your boyfriend is back in town. I just love you two. You are just the cutest couple. I've missed you guys coming in together!" I swear if I could have dug a hole and buried myself I would have. I looked around the table and everyone was smiling or laughing....except CJ. Uh oh...I guess I forgot to let him in on the joke. Lunch went by pretty smoothly, but as soon as I dropped my parents and yuta off, CJ exploded with accusation after accusation about how it's impossible for girl's to just be friends with boy's and Yuta and I must have had something going on for the waitress to assume that he was my boyfriend and yada yada yada. I didn't respond....I calmly got out of the car, shut the door and left him outside. I don't respond well to yelling and arguing and I'm not going to participate in it. I haven't heard from him since then, and I don't know what I'm going to say to him, but I do know that we are going to have a serious talk about accusing me of things that he doesn't have proof of. Yuta is staying quiet, my mom is as vocal as ever, my dad heard him yelling at me so he's mad....wow....
Just when I thought it was getting better.....
Things got better on Saturday when I decided to force some "male-bonding time" on them by making CJ and Yuta go golfing with my dad. CJ was sweet about it and was a good sport even though he really doesn't have an interest in golf. My dad acted like an adult and started to teach CJ the in's and out's of golf....I thought everything was good....I was wrong.
Saturday night we were all over my parent's house and we were having dinner and things were pretty quiet which is unusual, because usually it's very lively around the dinner table. My mom was being lukewarm towards CJ, like she was tolerating him, but she wasn't happy about it. My mom is usually such a sweetheart, but when she gets those "mom-knows-best-and-he's-not-right-for-you" feelings there is really nothing you can do, but hope that she'll eventually warm up to the idea....sigh.... I don't even know where to start with her, and I can imagine that it's only going to get worse when Yuta's mom arrives on Thursday. Get those two together and on the same team and there is bound to be trouble. Well, anyway...My mom was being extra sweet towards Yuta and using her limited Japanese she asked him what he thought about CJ. I thought that this was extremely rude, because you don't use a language at the dinner table that not everyone can understand (I swear sometimes, I feel like the only adult in my family). Anywho, from what I heard from Yuta's response it was not really nice. All I was able to catch was "wakawakashii", and "ketsunoana". Which are pretty bad insults. It's rude, but I couldn't really correct Yuta, because CJ has also said some pretty mean things about Yuta...As I said, I thought everything was fine....wrong, I was.
Sunday was a turning point, I had really had enough of them bickering, arguing and throwing insults around so I blew up...I mean, total level 10 bitch fit. I told them both to leave my house and not to come back until they felt like they could be mature adults and stop playing the "I'm more important than you" game. They were shocked and stunned when they left, but I thought I had gotten my point across (I need to stop thinking obviously). Yuta came back and apologized, CJ called and apologized, but said that it'd probably be better if he didn't come back over that night. I wasn't going to argue so I just left it alone. Crisis adverted...right???....WRONG!
Today, it's a beautiful Monday. The weather is nice, the sun is shining, all the elements that make a day perfect. I did some running around this morning and came home to take a quiet nap and just relax. Plan was a success until my parents called and said that they had gotten off of work early and wanted to know if I wanted to bring Yuta and CJ for lunch at New Seoul Garden. I really didn't want to go, because I ate a lot of junk food this weekend and really messed up my diet, but the sushi was calling for me so I bit the bullet and decided that this one meal wouldn't hurt (bad decision).....
We arrived at the restaurant and everything seemed okay, everyone was making polite conversation while we waited to be seated. The waitress comes and I immediately want to run out of the restaurant and not look back. Here's a little back story on this waitress...every time I come to NSG with Yuta she has always assumed that we were a couple. I don't play along with her, but Yuta sometimes does. So, now every time I've been in there she asks me when my "boyfriend" is coming back to the States. Can you see why I wanted to run? So now in a room, you have...me, my mom, my dad, yuta, cj (if you haven't guessed by now, we're dating) and a delusional waitress who thinks that Yuta is my boyfriend...there was no way that this was going to turn out good...at all.
As soon as we sat down, she parts her lips and says: "oh, so your boyfriend is back in town. I just love you two. You are just the cutest couple. I've missed you guys coming in together!" I swear if I could have dug a hole and buried myself I would have. I looked around the table and everyone was smiling or laughing....except CJ. Uh oh...I guess I forgot to let him in on the joke. Lunch went by pretty smoothly, but as soon as I dropped my parents and yuta off, CJ exploded with accusation after accusation about how it's impossible for girl's to just be friends with boy's and Yuta and I must have had something going on for the waitress to assume that he was my boyfriend and yada yada yada. I didn't respond....I calmly got out of the car, shut the door and left him outside. I don't respond well to yelling and arguing and I'm not going to participate in it. I haven't heard from him since then, and I don't know what I'm going to say to him, but I do know that we are going to have a serious talk about accusing me of things that he doesn't have proof of. Yuta is staying quiet, my mom is as vocal as ever, my dad heard him yelling at me so he's mad....wow....
Just when I thought it was getting better.....
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thinking of You
My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
If Women Ruled The World.
"If women ruled the world, there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other."
Friday, July 27, 2012
The Reason He Is Irreplaceable...
...because in those really hard moments where I hate being a girl, he doesn't ask questions, he doesn't freak out, he just gets me what I need and with a pat on the back and a grin he says "hang in there!" and gives me my space. Who could ask for a better best friend?....that is why he is irrevocably irreplaceable. :)
 |
| He made me tea, bought pain meds and loaded music to my ipod. |
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Turning Page
Sweet lyrics.....
"Though we're tethered to the story we must tell, when I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well."
"Though we're tethered to the story we must tell, when I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well."
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Only One
Loving this <3
The song, the dance, the diversity, her voice, everything is simply....perfection! Enjoy it....
Music...
I've been analyzing music a lot differently lately and I'm coming to find that I'm becoming more interested in music and artist that not many people would listen to, or they are too caught up in the big named artist, or they put too much value on the looks of the band. I'm not going to lie....I've been guilty of that and sometimes I still am, but I'm finding more and more each day that it's the artist that I rarely hear about that are really amazing to me. So....close your eyes and open your ears and judge music on the way that it feels and not the way that it looks....
Insecure....
"Insecurity is an ugly thing, it makes you hate people you don't even know." -unknown
Sigh....it feels like it's ending before it really gets started. I had a 2 hour conversation with CJ yesterday about his worries. He's freaked out and worried about Yuta's visit on Thursday. I wish my aunt never told him about how Yuta and I interact, because now he's being insecure. He's saying negative comments about Yuta and has never met him. I know that it's just the insecurity talking but it's not right. I really don't know what to tell him that would make him feel better, but I'm kind of feeling like it's not my job to coddle him and treat him like a child. We are all adults. I should not have to act weird around someone I've known for almost 20 years, just because you aren't secure. Yuta doesn't know about any of this, and now I'm worried about how his visit will turn out. Yuta has always gotten along with the guys I've dated, but somehow I feel like that won't be the case this time. The worst things you can be around Yuta is insecure and jealous. He smells it and feeds on it and it never turns out well. Hopefully it all turns out okay and I don't end up in between a fight, caused by silly insecurities....
Sigh....it feels like it's ending before it really gets started. I had a 2 hour conversation with CJ yesterday about his worries. He's freaked out and worried about Yuta's visit on Thursday. I wish my aunt never told him about how Yuta and I interact, because now he's being insecure. He's saying negative comments about Yuta and has never met him. I know that it's just the insecurity talking but it's not right. I really don't know what to tell him that would make him feel better, but I'm kind of feeling like it's not my job to coddle him and treat him like a child. We are all adults. I should not have to act weird around someone I've known for almost 20 years, just because you aren't secure. Yuta doesn't know about any of this, and now I'm worried about how his visit will turn out. Yuta has always gotten along with the guys I've dated, but somehow I feel like that won't be the case this time. The worst things you can be around Yuta is insecure and jealous. He smells it and feeds on it and it never turns out well. Hopefully it all turns out okay and I don't end up in between a fight, caused by silly insecurities....
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
A Matter of Opinion
It's so hard trying to explore the possibility of starting a new relationship when you know deep down that your parents don't agree with your choice. My friend told me that I should just ignore how they feel and continue to live my life the way I want to, but how can I ignore the feelings of the people who have done the most for me? What I'm struggling with the most is their reasoning behind their disapproval. It's all because, in their minds they know who they want me to be with and they have been pushing the issue for yearssss. It just seems like a selfish reason for them to deny me the possibility of maybe having something great with a great guy, just because they have preconceived views on who they want as the in-laws. Y's parents are great, fantastic, loving, loyal and fierce people. They protect me and defend me as if I was their own daughter and I know without a shadow of a doubt that they would do whatever they could to make me happy. I love them and would want nothing more than for them to be my mother and father in-law, but I have always thought that, that decision belonged to Y and I. If it's meant to be, it'll be....but my parents need to understand that they can't form biased opinions based on selfish reasoning and that my 父、and 母 will be apart of our lives forever in a capacity that not many people would ever be able to understand ....maybe it's just a matter of opinion....
Recycled Music?
I don't agree with it, I don't like it, I can't stand it, it makes my skin crawl, it's irritating.....it's not cute.
Yes, that is really how I feel. I love kpop and jpop, I really do, but the thing that irritates me to NO end is when these record labels/companies decide that it's a good idea to take Korean songs and recycle them and do a Japanese version.....for what? Why? I don't think it's asking too much for an original song if you're going to venture into the Japanese market. I'm sure I'm just speaking for myself, because there are bound to be herds of you out there that enjoy it, but since this is my blog, I can say what I want. I don't believe that it makes me less of a fan or better than any other fan's. It's just my opinion. Either you love it or hate it.....
Yes, that is really how I feel. I love kpop and jpop, I really do, but the thing that irritates me to NO end is when these record labels/companies decide that it's a good idea to take Korean songs and recycle them and do a Japanese version.....for what? Why? I don't think it's asking too much for an original song if you're going to venture into the Japanese market. I'm sure I'm just speaking for myself, because there are bound to be herds of you out there that enjoy it, but since this is my blog, I can say what I want. I don't believe that it makes me less of a fan or better than any other fan's. It's just my opinion. Either you love it or hate it.....
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
The Letters of Marsilio Ficino, Vol. 3
“In these times I don't, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don't want what I know and want what I don't know.”
Delicious Ambiguity.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.”
Delicious Ambiguity.”
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Rate of Failure...
"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success". ~ Thomas J. Watson
Passion...
"Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted… unbidden… it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us… passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace… but we would be hollow… Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we’d be truly dead.”
"Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
"Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Know Your Worth....
"Know your worth. It makes no sense to be second in someone's life, when you know you're good enough to be first in someone else's..." -unknown
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