What I've Learned About Relationships

My laptop is broken so I'm writing this on my phone so excuse any typos or errors! Lol.  I was inspired to write this entry because I went out for brunch with a girlfriend today and she has been experiencing some relationship issues and wanted my advice about things. While I was giving her my advice I came to some realizations about what I've learned so far about relationships.  I'm in a healthy relationship right now, but I've also experienced my fair share of unhealthy relationships. The main thing that I've learned is that the person you are in a relationship with should enhance your life and not take away from it. Of course things aren't always amazing and easy, but the thing you must remember is that you work on things and communicate. Your other half should open your eyes to things that you are doing right and also things that you can improve on. You don't want to be in a relationship where the other person just tells you what you want to hear. I love to feel supported,  but I also want to be made aware of when I'm being irrational or wrong.
I've also learned that it really takes a lot of effort to make relationships work. It's tiring and exhausting at times. The healthiest relationships are the ones where both people are working towards the common goal of bettering each other and bettering the relationship.
Communication is key!!! I can't express how important HONEST communication is. You have to express your thoughts, feelings and fears. Things that you desire from your partner,  things that you wish they would do, things that you wish they would acknowledge,  things that you're happy with. All of that is important.  It's best to get things out in the open. It's not always going to be a good feeling and there are going to be things that you don't necessarily want to hear, but I promise you, it's going to help. You can't expect for your partner to read your mind and they can't expect you to read theirs. If you talk about things,  there will be less misunderstandings.
I'm still learning about what it takes to make a relationship successful and happy, and i want to continue to learn and grow. I'm always willing to give advice about what I've learned so far and from what my friends say...I do a pretty good job. Haha. We'll see how everything goes!

Sick

Ugh, I hate being sick. This is day 3 of this virus or whatever it is that is invading my body.  It's been a long time since I've felt this ill and I have to say I'm not liking it at all. It's preventing me from doing the things that I need to do.  My aunt is in the hospital for a tumor they found on her colon and she had surgery and started chemotherapy yesterday, but I was unable to visit her at the hospital because you can't be around someone with a weak immune system when you're sick.  It's really bothering me that I can't be there for her.  Another thing is that it's little B's funeral today at 6pm and I won't be able to go.  I'll see her one last time at the viewing this afternoon, but I don't want to get anyone sick.  I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that I won't ever see her smile again in this lifetime. Maybe it's for the best that I don't go, because it's hard to handle funerals and I've been to too many to count over the last 3 years.  It's weird how life is...you're here one minute and gone the next. It's terrifying actually.

"Lord, make me a rainbow...I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors. Life ain't always what you think it ought to be..ain't even gray, but she buries her baby. The sharp knife, of a short life..."

I'll remember you always my little bunny....

Top 5 Pet Peeves

Because I'm super bored right now and no one is here to entertain me, I have no choice but to blog about something.....anything! Hahaha.

1. When someone crunches too loudly on chips. There is a way to eat them that doesn't require you to take 10 crunchy bites off of one potato chip.

2. When people pop gum. Once or twice is fine, but 15 times in a row is like nails on a chalkboard to me. We get it, you can pop gum.

3. When someone/anyone talks with their mouths full of food. I don't need to see what your food looks like semi-digested. Thank you.

4. When someone one is drinking from a straw and that get to the end off it and try to suck out every last drop of liquid, making that horrible slurping sound. Please don't. It makes me cry. Lol

5. People who litter. Be kind to the environment. Throw your crap away.

Bonus:  People who don't cover their food when they are heating it up in the microwave so food splatters everywhere! *hint hint yuta hint hint* <3 p="">

Thankful...

This is going to be short.  I'm thankful for the amazing people that have been there for me over the last week. If you sent me a kind word, or a wish that I'd feel better soon.  Thank you.  This week was a hard one and without my friends(near and far) around, I don't think I would have held up as well as I have.  Special thanks to the person who knew what I needed and when I needed it. No one in my life is replaceable. I value the people that I've met and also the people I have yet to meet. You all play an important role in my life....even if you don't know it. Thank you.

See You Later Little B.

Heaven has gained another angel today, and this angel is a beautiful blonde hair, blue-eyed, amazing little 4 year old. Her little body was exhausted and she fought as hard as she could, but she couldn't fight any longer. She gained her wings today at 4:06pm. I'll miss her smiling face every day.

My Little B,
Yesterday won't be the memory of you that I keep in my heart. That was not the little ball of fire that I knew.  I will remember you as the bright, bubbly, talkative, energetic fire cracker you were.  I'll cherish the memories of you coming into my office with your stuffed frog and saying "Ms. Sierra, do you wanna dance with Mr. Hopper?" The memories of you sneaking lollipops and stickers out of my drawer. The days where we acted silly in the hallway.  The days we made faces at each other through the glass door. The days that you were happy, the days what you were well.  I'll miss you terribly.  You no longer have to suffer anymore baby girl.  Rest well and show God those awesome dance moves. This isn't goodbye, we'll dance together in the future and we'll make silly faces in the clouds.  See you later my little bunny. I love you.

Please pray for her parents and her little sister.....

One Of My Worst Days....

Today was really hard. Harder than most days....harder than I could have ever imagined. I work in the pediatric field.  It's hard dealing with sick kids every day.  Of course there are some days where you get to see the children that are well, happy and adjusted, but you also see the children that are sick and miserable and those days are the hardest.  Today, a 4 year old beautiful little girl came into the office. I have been involved in the care of this girl since she was 2 days old and just as all the children I encounter every single day, I've come to love her.  Well, she came in today and she was working really hard to breathe, she looked exhausted and like she was going to faint.  The thing that really got to me was the look of fear in her big blue eyes...she was terrified.  I told mom to take off her jacket and shirt so that I could see her stomach and chest. The way that it was caving in with every breath she took frightened me to my core. I knew that something wasn't right, her pulse ox was 89% which is bad, she was breathing hard through her mouth, I grabbed the doctor and told her that I think we needed to call the ambulance.  The EMS arrived and as they put her tiny little body on the stretcher I burst into tears, how could this be happening to such a small little girl.  Now it was time to wait...wait for the hospital to call with an update on her condition.  That call came at 4:00pm.  I was told that she was diagnosed with lymphoma.  There was a huge mass on her right lung and the cancer had also started attacking her kidney's. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Cancer? Why? How? She was rushed to get a CT and a MRI and went immediately to receive chemotherapy.  All I could think about was the pain that her little body was about to endure.  It broke my heart to even think about.

I see things like this all the time and while I love my job, it's stressful.  You become attached to these children and God willing, you watch them grow up.  It hurts me when they are diagnosed with things that children should never have to worry about.  Children are a precious gift from God. Little angels that walk among us on earth and I wish that they were able to remain as pure and innocent as they are when they first enter into the world.  How do you explain to a child something that you don't understand yourself?  She should be in dance class, drawing pictures, playing with her little kitten...not in the hospital, hooked up to tubes.  It makes you realize how much you really have to be grateful for.  Today was one of the worst days of my life.  I will continue to pray for little B and I'll always watch out for her.  If you can....please pray for her as well.

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What's in a Name?

So I've been thinking lately about my future and I've always loved sort of unique baby names. Nothing crazy or that would prevent my future child from getting a job, or have them stereotyped in anyway. Just unique...meaning that I haven't heard the name a million times. So I decided to blog about some of the names that I like.

Girls:
-Ashlynn
-Delaney
-Teagan
-Rhian
-Freya
-Arya




Boys:
-Cree
-Rowan
-Gage
-Grayson
-Kellan


I'll add to this list as I think of more names.  I just wanted to have a post to look back on, so I don't stress myself out thinking about what I want to name my future children.

To be continued....

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Pure, Innocent, Unconditionally...

I sometimes wish that I could go back to a time in my life where I didn't know of heartbreak, pain, suffering or struggle. The time where everything was pure, innocent and easy.  I've noticed that as you grow as a person it's the hard things that shape you into the person you'll ultimately become, but I sometimes wish that learning and growing wasn't this hard.  I've come to appreciate the hard times and become thankful for the good times.  How nice would it be to go back to the time where you were pure, innocent and could love unconditionally?

Who is Sierra?

You know how you fill out those About Me sections on so many websites, but you never put more than maybe a few sentences? How can someone truly capture the true essence of who you are from a mere few lines? So I decided to do a more in depth version of an about me section. Let's see where this goes....Let's start with the positives:

I'm a person who loves an adventure, I'm always searching for ways that I can push the boundaries. The more it makes my heart race, the more fun it is for me. I love hard, in both relationships and friendships.  It takes a lot for me to consider someone a friend, but know that once I consider you a friend there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.  Loyalty is what matters most in my life. I feel that as long as I surround myself with people who only want the best for me and people who would never think about turning their backs on me, I'll have most of what I need in life. I'm generous, I don't like to see people struggling and if there is anything that I can do to brighten their day in any way, I'll try my best to do so.  The same goes for animals as well. I'm optimistic and I always see the glass as half way full and I try to teach those around me to do the same. Nothing comes from being negative all the time. I can be bubbly and I've been told that my bright attitude when shown draws people to me. I love to have a good time and I love showing people a good time. I have a great sense of humor and for as long as I can remember I've always been making someone laugh with some witty or sarcastic comment. I treasure every little thing I possess.  If it belongs to me, I treat it very well with nothing held back. I'm confident in myself and I carry myself that way.  It's not arrogance, it's called knowing your worth. I guess it's time to get to those negatives huh?

I don't like boring things. If something doesn't catch my attention within 60 seconds, chances are I'm going to lose interest and move on.  I'm forward and blunt, almost to a fault, I don't mince words for anyone...ever.  If there is something that is bothering me, don't expect me to sit quietly and not address it.  You don't get things resolved just by sitting back and taking whatever is dished out at you.  I'm very argumentative.  If I believe in something, expect me to fight for it...verbally of course. I take my beliefs very seriously and if I think I'm right, I'll fight for it.  Sometimes I would call it a debate and not an actual argument.  I'm head strong and if I believe in something, there isn't much you can do to get me to change my view on it. I'm a bit of a brat. I don't like it when I don't get my way, I've been guilty of throwing temper tantrums (everything about yourself isn't supposed to be perfect right?). I'm impatient. I don't like waiting for things. I live in the now and if I want it now, I usually expect it immediately. I'm dramatic, with the tendency to sometimes make issues bigger than what they need to be. I accept these "negative" traits just as much as I embrace the positives.  I don't think it's right for anyone to consider themselves to be perfect.  We all have flaws and we'll all meet someone someday who will love us...flaws and all!

I hope you've learned a little more about me!

Until next time :)

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