Are You...Content?

I'm so content right now. I'm content with everything that is happening in my life and I'm so very thankful for the people around me. They got me out of a really rough spot. Before they came here I don't think anyone knew how bad my depression had gotten. I was literally on the verge of giving up, and that's a scary feeling. I don't think anyone noticed how alone I was...How alone I felt. If they did notice...they didn't care that much. I realize now that me wanting to give up was a selfish thought. How many people would I hurt? I couldn't do that to the people who sincerely love me...flaws and all. I'm just so thankful that they see something in me that at times I don't see in myself. I've laughed until I cried, I've danced, I've smiled, I've loved, I've discovered, I....took a breath. It has been months since I've laughed a sincere laugh...danced like no one was watching, smiled a genuine smile, loved wholly, unconditionally and completely, discovered the meaning and reasons behind what makes me...me and took a breath that didn't hurt to the core.

How do you pay people back for that? What would the price be for this kind of contentment? I don't know, but what I do know is that I will never ever disappoint the people who value my life, my heart, my soul. I will spend forever and a day trying to pay them back for something as valuable as they have given me....my life. I don't know what I did to deserve the kind of love that I receive from them, but i'm grateful for it and it gives me a reason to keep going, no matter how tired I am, no matter how dark my days can get, no matter how much it burns to breathe sometimes. Those are things that I can never repay in full, but I'm going to try my hardest. I don't know how things will be when they leave, but I owe it to them to continue to be the way I am now....contented.

I hope that everyone finds the contentment that I've found. I hope that everyone can experience love like I know it. We all deserve it. Be happy. It's not a crime. I want anyone who is reading this that is going through a hard time to know that, it doesn't end here. Just keep breathing. No matter how much each breath rips you apart, no matter how much it burns, no matter how hard it is. Breathe through it, because I guarantee you that while the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't look bright right now, you'll definitely reach it, and you'll be grateful that you had the strength and the courage to fight.

I'll leave you with a quote that means a lot to me:

"Which way will you choose? The one to the left with nothing right or the one to the right with nothing left?" 

Think about that, and leave a comment or tweet me @KireiSie  and tell me what you would do.

Be safe, be happy, be blessed.

~Sierra