Happiness Personified

I often find myself lately stopping and saying "Wow, I'm really happy today".
It's a weird and foreign feeling, because it's been a long time.
I know that it's not only my own effort that has gotten me to this point.
I'm here because of love, strength and patience.
Not just from one person, but from everyone who means anything to me,
It's a feeling that I don't want to ever lose again.
I look forward to the time I can say "Wow, I'm really happy".
Not just today, but every single day.
What does life have in store for me?
I don't know, but I do know that I'm living.
I'm loving, laughing and learning.
I now know that you are my happiness personified.....

Laughter Cures...

I love this quote so much, it states the most important quality that I look for in people that I surround myself with. The world needs more laughter, and luckily for me I have people in my life that make me laugh every single day. I have some of the best friends in the world and although some of them are thousands of miles away, I still feel their love and light with me wherever I go.  What brought on this sentimental post you might wonder....well, my special someone sent me 4 videos of him hanging out with our best friends in Japan and it just brought back memories of my trip to Japan last year. The fun, laid back days and the wild and crazy nights. I miss them all terribly and I wish that things were different and that they were with me all the time, but it's true what they say....absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

On another note, I finally received something in the mail that I wasn't expecting and it was from my second mother. I had my eye on this watch for the longest and I was going to buy it last week, but luckily I didn't! 

I love love love it! 

On that note, I hope that each and everyone of you have people in your life that not only encourage you to laugh and be happy, but are participating in making that happen for you!

Until next time~

Two Hearts

Today  (11/5/2012) was a really good day. I'm all smiles. I was able to do a lot and say a lot. I've found some understanding and some answers and they were inside of two hearts. We finally left my house for an extended time today. We went to the mall, walked around and people watched. We had ice cream, pretzels and then we went for sushi. We avoided New Seoul Garden, because we really didn't want to see anyone we knew. We ended up going for a couple drinks and to karaoke....just the two of us. It felt good...even though I know that this bubble we've built around ourselves can't last forever and eventually I'm going to have to share him with other people...I'm really enjoying having this time with him. He knew that I needed it, because he made no plans with anyone for this entire first week that he's been here. I was having a hard time, and he knew it. I wish I could post it all here...everything that was going on with me, but I can't put it into words...I just wasn't in a good place emotionally. Have you ever been sleep and thought you were crying in your dream, but it turns out you were crying for real? I was waking up with tears running down my face, and it wasn't a quiet cry with a few tears, it was a full breakdown. It was happening every night, but in the last 4 nights it's only happened once, and Yuta is was there to shake me awake and let me know that everything is okay. I haven't told my parents about this happening, because I don't want to worry them...as always. I only wish I could remember what I was dreaming about when this happens. 

I'm so thankful for Yuta, because even though he's so jet lagged, he is still doing everything I want him to do without complaints. So, thank you Yuta for being my gym partner, my dance partner, my guardian during my doctor's appointments, my strength coach during physical therapy....my best best best best best best best friend! I could not have made it through the last few days without you! :) 

"the road we walk side by side, and the scenery same as usual…

your smile brighten them all.

each time when the bottom of our hearts colored, I confirm my feelings for you which never change.

we’ll never release our hands we hold strongly.

I seize whole of overflowing light and shadow. 

the desired future, and the other side of darkness…

let’s go to see them together.

I’m sure that we can go anywhere.

the answer is always inside of two hearts.

(the number of nights spreads the distance from our beginning.)

when you may forget it, just listen carefully.

the important thing is always close to you, so you are not alone.

I can hear our two heart beats.

I always stare at your eyes deeply, and I’ll never look away.

I gather your spilled tears and smiles.

we can share the pain of our past and the dither of our tomorrow.

I’m sure that we can go anywhere.

the answer is always inside of two hearts.

we’ve chosen it to greet this moment.

the answer we found can’t settle in “fate” or “destiny”.

we’ll never release our hands we hold strongly.

I seize whole of overflowing light and shadow.

the desired future, and the other side of darkness…

let’s go to see them together.

anywhere is alright (even though any place).

I’m sure that we can go anywhere.

the answer is always inside of two hearts."

Daichi Miura-Two Hearts

Reconnecting

Reconnecting....disconnecting....reconnecting again. That's what I've been doing the last few days. I've avoided Twitter and most other social media sites. When this is published, it'll be my first time back after some pretty amazing days. I just want to let you all know that things are really looking up for me. Yuta is back and I've been spending every waking moment talking to him, listening to him, living with him, watching him...being with him. It's funny, our mom's called today and asked when we were going to finally come out of hiding. We can't be torn apart right now. The late night cooking sessions, the heart to heart talks, the silly dancing around the house, the late night movie sessions laying on the couch with blankets, pillows, a big bowl of popcorn, a beer for him and a glass of wine for me. These are some of the things I've been enjoying since he came back on Friday. Eating at our favorite places, walking in our favorite park, going to our secret place. The place where we would go when we were upset about something, happy about something, or celebrating something. The spot where he told me that they were moving the Japan. It's usually so fast paced when he comes back. He's off to meet up with some of his guy friend's who've missed him or our parents plan these family days. This time has been slow for us. Slowly reconnecting and just enjoying each other.

I can't get the words out that I really want and need to say. I guess I'm not ready for everyone to know yet. I want to keep this to myself for a little while. Just this once I want to be selfish and only think about what I want. Just let me keep this one thing to myself and in my heart for a little while longer. I'm so happy, I feel like if I share it, it'll somehow disappear. It's really cold these day's, but I'm warmer than I've ever been. I'm radiating heat from the inside out. Life is tricky, it's the hardest thing you'll ever encounter. The trick is meeting people and cultivating relationships that make life worth it. I think I've finally found the perfect recipe and it's come at the perfect time. I won't make this blog post any longer than it needs to be, because the more I write, the more I want to shout the words that I want to keep to myself.

I can't promise that I'll be as active as before on Twitter during this time(at least not on my public account, which this blog is linked to). I'll post some interesting things on my private account though. I'll be back soon, until then......

The Return......of Shinhwa!

Shinhwa!!!!! I'm so excited that they are back. I've been following kpop forever it seems. I have VHS tapes of Shinhwa, Sechskies, H.O.T and so many other amazing old school singers and rappers. Wow, my age is really showing! Anyway...I was just talking to my friend Marcy and we were saying how we wish that all of the old school groups could come back. We talked about how some of the kids might be like "who are these people?" While their mom's fan-girl and cry as they drive their little kiddies around! It'd be epic awesomeness! Really! lol I'm  beyond excited for The Return of Shinhwa, and they came back just the way I thought they would....AMAZING! I'm listening to their album as I'm typing this and memories of the good old days are coming back to me. I haven't came across a song that I don't like yet. I love the upbeat songs, I love the ballads...I love everything about this right now. 


Eric, Minwoo, Dongwan, Hyesung, Jun Jin, Andy....thank you for bringing me the music I fell in love with in 1998 and thank you for bringing the music back to me. I'm loving and appreciating the mature sound.  


Enjoy this with me....

Shinhwa-Venus

Shinhwa- Hurts

That's just two of the amazing songs! Make sure you support them and buy their music. I know that I'm not the only one excited that they are back, so pleaseeee show them support! I've been connecting with a lot of my friends who faded away from kpop with the "new era." It's nice that we can have a comeback just as Shinhwa is doing. 


Until next time
Sierra~

Are You...Getting Enough Sleep?

I work full-time 40-50 hours a week. My work day starts with me waking up to get ready about 5am. Over the past few months I've been going to bed between 12am and 1am. I'd wake up completely exhausted and go through my day in a fog. I'd have an attitude, i'd snap at people for no reason. I finally realized that I needed to start changing the way I take care of myself. Which was part of my promise to Kat and Miya. I've been going to bed between 9pm and 9:30pm. I wake up before my alarm goes off, exercise, make a cup of tea and watch the news. I never had time to do that before. I would wake up with just enough time to shower, throw my clothes on, run a brush through my hair and run out of the house. Now that I'm more rested in the morning, I have time to wake up gradually and take some "me time" it feels great. I've been in a better mood, and although I have some times during the day where I get sad, for the most part I think that I'm handling things really well. Taking care of your health is something that is very important. I hope that anyone who is reading this, is getting enough sleep and leading a healthy life.


Until next time~
Sierra~

Are You...Living Life Happily? Part 3

I'm finally writing it...Part 3...this comes a day after Emi, Kat, Miya and Ka have gone back to Japan, but i'll get to that later in Part 4 or 5. I think that there is so much to write, and i'm kind of losing the order on when we did things, because we did SO much! So if I repeat anything...forgive me. lol

We went ice skating Friday 12/30 , which was a fun time, even if I don't really know how to ice skate. lol. I managed not to fall so that was a good thing. Yuta on the other hand ended up falling and taking everyone down with him. LOL I was so happy that I wasn't in his group. There is this place downtown where they make an artificial skating rink and that place at night is absolutely beautiful. They have lights on the trees and there is just this calming whimsical feeling about the environment that surrounds you. There is so really good food there and the people are all really friendly. During this trip i wanted to do things that I normally don't get a chance to do. You know, live it up to the fullest. It was a little difficult because of my toes, but i was able to skate a lot before it started to get uncomfortable. This was only the second year that I've done this, but I don't think that it will be my last.

this is what I call Winter-ready Yuta. I love his hat!

 We were looking for interesting ways to spend the last few days of 2011, ice skating was one and the other one was...we went on a dinner cruise on the Detroit Princess. It's a boat the cruises along the Detroit River. It was a lot colder than we anticipated it to be, but that didn't stop us from having fun. The food could have been a little better and since it was one of the last days of me being able to eat anything I want, I was a little disappointed, but it's okay because dessert after the cruise more than made up for it. LOL...It turned out to be super romantic for Miyako and Kaito though so I guess that's a good thing that came out of it. We all just left them alone and did our own thing.

New Years Eve was interesting, because we didn't do much at all. Everyone wanted to go out to a party but since I had spent so much of the last few days of the year finishing the year-end charts for work so I was kind of exhausted. My boss would have been pissed if he let me work from home and I didn't finish. He'd probably never let me do it again. lol. So we spent New Years Eve at my house with a few drinks, watching movies and playing Catch Phrase. This is the first NYE that I haven't been out doing something. I can't say that it was a bad thing because I actually had fun just chilling with the ones that I love. I think that as you get older, things start to fall into perspective and sometimes things don't end up the way that you think they should. You might one day find that staying in is just as fun as going out. Being surrounded by people isn't life anymore. Sometimes being with a few close friends could be just as great...if not a little greater. <3

The first day of the new year was spent with us meeting my parents and yu's parents for brunch, well it was supposed to be brunch but it turned out to be lunch because for maybe the second time in my life, our parents were super late, and I think it has something to do with them drinking the night before. It was hilarious because we were doing a face-time chat on our phones and yu's mom is like holding her drink and saying "you want some? huh? huh?" and she was tipping her drink towards the phone. I don't know how many drinks she had before then, but my oneesan is a light weight when it comes to drinking. lol. Anyway, so we had lunch and it was really nice to spend some time with the adults because we've been feeling like we were neglecting them, because we have been spending so much time hanging out with each other. They didn't really mind too much because like my mom said it allowed them to have time to do things that mature adults do, like go to wine tasting's and things like that. I'm glad that they got some time away from us crazy people. lol
We of course had the traditional new year's dinner which is always chicken, broccoli and black-eyed peas. Each dish represents something positive for the New Year.

As I've been rambling along and I doubt anyone cares about all of this, I decided that these entries are something that I need to write out, because I always want to read back on them and remember the times where I was truly happy. I hope that anyone who is reading this is happy as well. Until next time which will probably be in a couple hours....stay happy!

~Sierra

Are You...Living Life Happily? Part 2

Here is part 2 of the post that I promised to deliver a week or so ago. Things have been quite amazing. This visit from friends is unlike any visit before. Don't get me wrong....I love when it's just Yuta here, but having my girls here makes the experience that much greater. It's nice to have girl talks and watch romantic chick flicks and just be...a girl! I can't do all the girly things that I enjoy doing with Yuta so it's been an amazing experienced having my girls visit this time around! So....I can't quite remember where I left off so if I repeat anything...forgive me. LOL
We've been hanging out a lot...so much in fact that I believe it to be unhealthy! LOL...I actually got sick a couple days ago, but it didn't last too long. It's nice having people around to take care of you when you get sick!

Sweet Friends. Love them so much!

When I fell asleep I woke up with a fever so Yuta told me that I had to stay in bed all day. I didn't really mind it so much because he was there so I napped off and on all day. During my last nap, I woke up and I noticed that everyone was gone and on the pillow beside me was a note and some chocolate goodies. The note basically said that they went to go get food and they hoped that I feel better and Kat even made me tea that she put on my bedside table. It is the sweetest thing that anyone could do for me. They are always making sure that I'm comfortable and taken care of and I love and appreciate them so much for that. Oh, the note also said that Emiko wasn't going to drive so I shouldn't worry. LOL...there is a funny story behind that. In the next paragraph. We also went to a karaoke bar and had some fun singing and dancing with some of Yuta's family that is still here. His uncle and auntie are the cutest couple...besides Yuta's parent who are THE cutest I have ever seen...they have the kind of love that I aspire to have. 

So f'n cute!!!! <3

Okay, now...funny story about Emiko. So the other day we went out and I haven't been doing much driving because of my toes, so I've been letting everyone drive my car besides Kaito and Miyuki, because they don't really now the streets since it's their first visit here. It turned out to be Emiko's turn to drive, so we were on the expressway and everything seemed to be going smooth. We exited the expressway to go to the gas station and things went terribly wrong! This girl turned the wrong way down a one way street. People were blowing their horns and yelling out of their cars and Emi was freaking out and shaking. When she finally composed herself and we pull in the gas station she hit the barrier by the gas pump because she was going to fast. Needless to say...her driving privileges have been revoked! If I'm not driving then Yuta or Kat are the only one's allowed to drive. Emi isn't a bad driver, she is just used to driving on different kinds of roads. I forgive her for almost killing us. LOL

Yuta and Kaito <3

We baked some Christmas cookies yesterday, which was a fun time. Nothing like a bunch of silly people playing with baking flour and sugar. LOL. We made a total mess of the kitchen, but it was so much fun! I think that I've gained about 20lbshe last few months in t...no lie! It's really bothering me because in order for me to do the things that I need to do, I have to maintain a certain weight. I was never skinny, skinny to begin with, but I have what I call a "dance weight" where my weight can not exceed a certain number, because it becomes harder for me to do the ballet moves that I need to teach. If I gain as little as 2 lbs I can feel it on my toes when I try to do en pointe. So imagine gaining 20lbs...it needs to disappear. I can only blame myself because I took a term off of dance and that is a dangerous thing to do. I'm not getting adequate exercise and  I'm eating and drinking WAY too much. I'll be back on track after the New Year so no worries. It's just going to be hard to get toned again. LOL. My mom looked at me and she said "you've gained weight huh?" lol...thanks mom for pointing out the obvious. Yuta says that I'm still beautiful, but he has to say that and he's a total gentleman and sweetheart so he would never call me fat. lol...but standing next to Miya and Kat who are both 100lbs...makes you feel insecure sometimes. lol. 

Chocolate covered Oreos and the reason I'm gaining weight! LOL

There is a ton of other things that I want to say, but I think that I'll leave it here for now. I'll be making a part 3 either sometime this weekend or before the next. There will be some more post sprinkled in before though. These will always be my longer posts. 

Well, it's time to get back to the family and enjoy the time that I have left with them. I hope anyone that is reading this, is enjoying time with their friends and family and being as blessed as they possibly can be! Stay healthy, Stay happy, Stay wonderfully unique! Have a safe and happy Christmas!  

Lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses, 

Sierra~

Are You...Living Life Happily? Part 1

Wow...wow...wow! This last week has been BEYOND amazing for me! I don't think I could have asked for a better week. I hate that this only happens about once a year around Christmas time, but i'm so grateful for these amazing people who I have in my life right now. My girls from Japan are here and they are lovely and fun as usual. Emiko is what I like to call a "wild child" she's always ready for a party and she is never tired. She's the only girl I know who can jump off a 13 hour flight into another time zone and emerge from the plane with flawless hair and make up! She's always on "GO" and I love that about her. Katsumi is my "quiet-reserved-sweet-girl" she is the total opposite of Emiko which is why I think they get a long so well. She's a thinker rather than a person who just jumps into things. She's our little voice of reason. She's tiny but she has such a huge heart and once you're her friend she will lay down her life for you. She always wants to make sure you are taken care of before she takes care of herself. Miyako is my little "balanced-mature-girl" she is the only one out of us girls who is in a long-term, healthy relationship. Her boyfriend means the world to her and she means the world to him. They are sincerely the sweetest couple...ever. Miyako really balances all of us out. She's not a wild girl, she's not quiet...she's in the middle. She is the go to girl for relationship and life advice and I don't know where I would be without her friendship!

My party girls! Kind of wasted! LOL

For the last week we have been going non-stop partying and we've been eating...A LOT! lol. We've indulged in alcohol more than we probably should, but we don't drink and drive and we don't drink often so it's fine to let lose every once in awhile! We like to experiment with new foods and new clubs so this week has been quite an adventure. It's Miya's first visit to the States so we've had fun showing her all the hot spots and enjoying her reactions of amazement at every new thing we introduce her to. She has fallen in love with my home and I'm so happy! 

Drinking and having fun! 

I guess a downside to my week would have to be that on Wednesday me and the girls went bowling and there was this little boy. I think he was about 5 or 6 years old. I was talking to Emi and all of a sudden I heard "hey, lady" I turned around and this little boy threw his bowling ball as hard as he could on my foot. It took everything in me not to cry or hit the kid. I don't think I've experienced pain like that since I injured my back 5 years ago. The first feeling after pain was panic. I'm a dancer and feet are important for dancing. I went to the hospital and after 3 hours I was told that I had 2 broken toes. As a nurse I knew right away that for broken toes you can't really do anything about it but tape the toes to the toe next to it and wear hard soled shoes. I've been pretty much in complete agony, but I'm not going to let it stop my fun that's for sure!

One of the gifts from my girls!

Part of another gift! It was a Harajuku Lovers file set! 

So after the whole broken toes ordeal, we spent so time at my house relaxing because I was in so much pain i couldn't even think about going out dancing or walking...anywhere. I knew that Yuta, his parents and Miya's VVIP Christmas gift was flying in on Saturday so I wanted to be rested enough to show them a good time. Oh yeah, Miya's VVIP Christmas gift was her boyfriend! Yuta and I decided to split the airfare cost to fly him out here for a few weeks. It was such a surprise to Miya. I knew that she was missing him a lot because they haven't really gone a day without seeing each other since they started dating 5 years ago. I'm glad we were able to keep it a secret from her. The look on her face when she saw him was PRICELESS! I wish I had my camera because I should have gotten a picture of it. I'm glad that she was happy and I'm glad that I was a part of both their first trips to the States. 
I'm going to leave it here for now. This is only part 1. I congratulate you if you were able to read this all the way through. I'll try to post part 2 within the next few days. It's kind of hard with so many people visiting, I have to spend time with my friends and my lovely family. This is my favorite part of the year and with 2011 coming to an end and a possible move to Japan in 2012 for 6 months to a year. I think that next year is going to be a year that I will never forget. Next post will highlight changes in me and Yuta's relationship...anticipate it :)